Be Still and Know that I Am God

These have truly been trying times. When the year 2020 came in, we all heard sayings like the year of vision or perfect vision something to do with sight. I would say that many of our eyes have certainly been open. We can see how frail humanity is, we can see that things can change in an instant, we can see that the tangible things we hold dear don't hold us, we see that we can lose hope quickly, we can see that sanity is fleeting and that we are so very small.

We see that all of humanity have the same basic needs and wants. We need to eat, we need water, we need shelter, we need people, we need hope, we need love and we need a will to live. We want comfort, we want our families to be safe, we want to have things that bring us pleasure, we want happiness. Life isn't always about what we want. Many of us rarely get want we want, but then again, quite a few of us do. As this pandemic hit, we started wanting what we needed. All of humanity wanted what it took to live, we still do. As we watch people die and lose their jobs so they are not able to pay their bills or buy food for their families. We can clearly see what really matters.

We realize our need for people because now we are isolated and away from others. We can see what things we thought were important and now realize they are not. We see our need for God to keep us sane, to help us see ourselves and to help us control our emotions. Some of us have a hard time seeing ourselves and hearing our own thoughts. We kept ourselves busy so that we wouldn't have to deal with that but now we get to see ourselves. How are we handling this? Are we ok with who we are and are grateful for life? Are we depressed because of the life that we have? This time can cause us all to be so introspective.

And then George Lloyd dies as his neck is under the knee of a police officer. This is so hard to see. As an African American woman, I know that this goes on. I don't have the video of these instances in my face but I know that this happens. It doesn't get easier to see. I have a son who is now a young African American man. I worry when he is out. I try not to bug him but I need to hear from him periodically so that I know that he is ok. My great-great-grandfather was lynched in Alabama. He lived in Mississippi. His son, my great grandfather decided to repopulate the family and when he married, he and my great grandmother had 19 boys and 2 girls. They were strong Christians. How did my great grandfather not have extreme hatred in his heart for people who looked like his father's killers? We are such an adaptable group of people, we can function in so many different environments. Even the ones that are hostile to us.

My sister and I went down to Alabama last summer and visited the Memorial dedicated to all of the African Americans that were lynched. We didn't see my ancestor's stone, but we walked through and read so many stories about these people, mainly men, that were killed. This occurrence with George Lloyd reminds me of the lynchings that took place and it grieves me. I am generally an optimistic person. But there is a time and season for everything. I feel like this is a time for sorrow, grieving, and soberness. An excerpt from Ecclesiastes says There is a time for everything and a season for everything under Heaven. A time to be born, a time to die... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn... All I've got is hope in a God that sees me where I am and knows my heart. All that I've got is a hope that He will keep me in His hand. All I've got is a hope that one day the pain and struggle of this life will be over. I cannot control evil men. I cannot control those that may seek to harm me or my loved ones. I have to hope in something bigger than me. I have to hope that my life means something. I have to hope that God wrote my story. I have hope that He is the ultimate judge and nothing escapes His watch. He is the all-seeing God. I know that I can do all things through Him and that nothing is impossible with Him. All I can do is stand and know that He is control. He watches over me and He is God.