Hope for the Broken Heart

The Scripture says the Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves those who have a contrite spirit in Psalm 34:18. I think we all know what it means to have a broken heart, a contrite spirit means a crushed spirit. I don't think there is much focus on this scripture until we truly go through pain. Every human has had a broken heart at some point in time. Right now we are dealing with the Coronavirus and there are so many people in pain and who's spirits are genuinely crushed. Broken hearts can come from so many directions. We can have a broken heart from the passing of a loved one, from shattered dreams, from the loss of a friendship, from being abused by a close family member (whether parents, spouse, significant other), or from genuine life disappointments.

It is interesting that the scripture mentions a broken heart and a crushed spirit in the same context. We don't decide to have a broken heart. This usually occurs because of someone or something else and the broken heart is the effect of the occurrence. I believe that we come into the world as dreamers. We hear the labeling of some people as dreamers but actually we all are. We come in with the desire to love and be loved, we desire companionship and friendship. We desire to be accepted and wanted. The Lord has innately put this in our spirits, He said it wasn't good for us to be alone (Genesis 2:18). We naturally yearn to be loved and accepted. We don't naturally desire rejection. When people pass away, you may hear someone say "why did you leave me?". It may seem irrational to the hearer that they said this because they didn't leave, they died. But our heart doesn't know the difference in why the pain comes, just that we are experiencing such great pain.

When we are rejected by a close loved one, our body doesn't care where the pain comes from, it takes it on. Rejection is an interesting thing. You don't feel rejection as much from people that are insignificant to you. Rejection is usually felt by people we care for and care for deeply. It is such deep pain. Whether it is from a parent, or a spouse or a best friend, it is crushing. To have someone that you deeply love and are vulnerable to, to look at you with hatred, to dismiss your value or to say and do things to break or crush you, are examples of rejection that can cause such heavy pain. This pain is real, but the Lord is close to you.

When we work hard to go after a dream and try with all that we have and it is shattered, that can become such great despair. When you put your confidence in people and believe that they will stay true to their words, or you have confidence in a company, that they will do right by you or even when you have confidence in your own ability to make things happen and it falls short, this can be extremely devastating. This pain is from disappointment, this pain is real and Lord is close to you as well.

Think about when you stub a toe or smash a finger in a door or get a minor burn by fire. Your body doesn't react differently to why the pain happened, it just feels pain and immediately does what it needs to do to stop that pain and heal that part of the body. Our physical bodies naturally heal themselves (when we are healthy). They have a way of releasing toxins from our systems. When we exercise or move frequently, our bodies sweat out the toxins, when we eat fruits and vegetables, our bodies clean our system of the toxins, and when we cry we release toxins as well. These are healthy and natural ways of our bodies releasing toxins.

It dawned on me one day years ago, that I didn't cry. I actually didn't cry for decades. I just kept going, whatever the heartache or disappointment, or dream that died, I didn't cry. I did cry at my grandmother's funeral during that time period, and I cried sometimes when I prayed. But in general, I didn't cry. I didn't even cry when I had my children. I thought that to cry was a sign of weakness and I felt that if I cried, it would make me more vulnerable and things would get worse. So I didn't cry. A friend said to me about 10 years ago, "Oh you should cry, you'll enjoy it!" That stuck out in my mind, I would enjoy crying?? Well eventually I did cry, and I cried non-stop for 3 days, I had to go through the layers and grieve, and feel the pain and pay attention. I needed to let out the toxins.

The Scripture says that the Lord felt the same sorrows that we feel in Isaiah 53:4. He felt that deep gut-wrenching pain that all of us will experience at some time. He felt grief from the loss of a friend. He felt rejection when the people He loved, and the creation He made, looked at Him with hatred. These same people genuinely felt hatred towards Him. So much so they wanted and demanded Him dead. In the garden, He expressed that He would rather not die, but was willing to because that's why He came. Can you imagine the agony He went through? I'm sure you can imagine some of it because we go through these emotions in the different seasons of our lives. But just as our bodies have a natural way of releasing toxins, the scripture gives us the spiritual and emotional way of releasing toxins as well. When we hurt our physical bodies, it obvious what is in pain, but when we are hurt emotionally, we can easily hide it and it is not so clear.

Here is how we release toxins emotionally from the scripture's point of view. First, take all of your anxiety to the Lord. Take it to Him and leave it there 1 Peter 5:7. David said he called to the Lord and He heard him and delivered him in Psalm 34:4. Ask Him to create a clean heart in you and renew your spirit (Psalms 51:1)). He can give you new desires that are pleasing to Him and will be best for you (Psalms 37:4). Jesus said on the cross, not My will but let Yours be done to the Father (Luke 22:42). That needs to be our prayer so that we let go of what we had in mind for our lives and embrace what He has in mind for our lives. The Lord walks with us through the different seasons of our lives. People and things may be in our lives for a season, but all things work together for them that are called by God (Romans 8:28). Sometimes things need to be taken away or burned off of us like in a crucible, or maybe the season is simply over. Know that He will never crush us. He will reshape us and mold us. He will heal us and He will help us. We can trust Him with our lives. He knows what He is doing. He is close to us while we go through our deepest pain. Reach out to Him and see how He will come through for you.